


When Will Lee Learn To Shut The Fuck Up

by Athenaness21 (orphan_account)



Series: The (mis)Adventures of The Hurricane [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is an idiot, Angst, Bakery, Blackmail, F/F, F/M, M/M, Matchmaking, Multi, Sequel, This is sad., as usual, i am truly sorry, jeffmads - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, super hero AU, valentines day, waaahh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 5,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9227999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Athenaness21
Summary: In this order:a) Eliza and Maria are both single,b) Lee is a JERK,and c) Alex is an idiot.also, this is a few years after the last work. ;)





	1. DoyouknowEliza?

"Indie needs our help." Laf explained. "You know her sister, Eliza?"

Alex bit his lip. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Laf waved him off. "I know  _you_ know her. I was talking to them." 

"Ah."

"But, anyway, Indie needs us to play matchmaker for her sister."

"Why?" John asked.

"There's a ball, and Eliza needs a date."

"Oh." he went quiet. "I'm terrible at that stuff," he complained.

"You'll be _fine,_ " Laf assured him. "But we need your help." 

Thomas nodded seriously. "Project Date, initiate."

Mads grinned into his scarf. "That rhymes."

Laf glared at them. "It doesn't matter. This is important."

John shrugged. "Do we ever know what gender this person is supposed to be?"

Laf shook his head. "Indie didn't specify."

Someone- a guy with a blond undercut and a huge pink sweatshirt- walked up, carrying a tray with some cookie on it. "Hi!" he sang. 

He actually sang. Alex sat there is stunned silence for a second, but Thomas wasted no time in getting information. "DoyoubyanychanceknowEliza?"

The server paused. "What?" He asked after a second.

"Do you know Eliza Schuyler?"

"Uhm..." He tilted his head. "Yeah... Why?" he asked, sliding the platter onto the table. "Courtesy of the baker," he explained.

"Well, we're supposed to find her a date, and we don't know what gender her date is supposed to be."

"I'm afraid I'm not completely sure, either." He looked genuinely sorry. "I could ask Aaron?"

"That'd be great." Laf nodded. 

The guy smiled. (Well, he had never technically _stopped_ smiling, but...) "Okay! I'll be back in a minute." He turned, then stopped. "By the way, I'm Amy." He said before turning back to the door to the kitchen, calling, "Babe! Do you two know Eliza?"


	2. Theoburramy <3

Moments later Amy came back with Aaron and a curly-haired girl, dragging them across the room. Some of the other customers snickered. Aaron rolled his eyes. "Amy-"

The curly-haired girl shushed him. "I want to know why he's  _dragging me away from making pecan pie."_ She asked pointedly.

"They want to ask you something," Amy said, gesturing to Alex and his friends.

Thomas waved halfheartedly. "Hi..."

Aaron sighed. "This had better be fucking good."

"Don't swear." Amy chided him. 

"What is it, Thomas?" Aaron asked, impatient. 

"You know Eliza Schuyler?"

"Yes..."

The curly-haired girl leaned against the end of the booth.

"Well," Thomas continued, "We were wondering if you know if she's dating anyone?"

"Or if there's anyone she'd like to go on a date with?" John added.

Aaron bit his lip, thinking. "I don't think so?" He said.

Curly-haired girl grinned. "Maybe that Reynold girl? What's her name... Mary?"

"Maria," Alex said grimly. 

Laf had the nerve to laugh. "Oh, this should be fun." He giggled.

Herc looked sadly at Alex and shook his head.

Amy frowned. "Who's Maria?" He asked.

"Oh, no one. Just..." Alex waved his hand vaguely. "Someone."

Mads stood up and hopped off the booth. "So?"

"So... what?" Alex asked, still thinking about Maria. 

"So, are we going to see these two people?"

Laf nodded enthusiastically, winking at Alex. "Yes! It's going to  _wonderful."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> duh-duh-duhhh!!
> 
> what will happen???


	3. Closets.

Three days later, Alex had almost forgotten the Maria thing and was sitting on the couch with John, reading.

Then Laf burst through the door. Literally. Alex sighed. "Laf, you have to pay for the door this time."

Laf, spinning in midair, paused. "Hm?" He looked back. "Oh, sorry."

John shook his head. "Whatever."

Laf flew over and placed his hands on Alex's shoulders. "Thomas has invited Maria and Eliza over to your house, and they will be arriving in about..." he looked at his watch and hmmed. "Two minutes, give or take a few seconds.

Alex froze. " _Eliza_ and  _Maria_ are coming to  _my_ house,  _together,_ and you only thought to tell me two minutes beforehand?" He looked around, panicked. "Hide me!"

John frowned at him. "That sounds like a  _terrible_ idea."

Alex threw up his hands. "I don't care if it's a bad idea! I'm the  _king_ of bad ideas! They can't see me!"

Laf waved his hand. "I already told them you'd be there. It's fine."

"But did you tell them the other would be there?" Alex covered his face in his hands. "This is a disaster."

"It's okay... It'll be fine..." Laf soothed. "You'll survive."

Alex looked up at Laf. "We're talking about  _Peggy_ and  _Angelica's_ younger sister. This is Eliza. You don't know how terrifying she can be."

Laf raised an eyebrow. "If I were you, I'd be more worried about Maria."

John raised his hand timidly. "Hi. I'm Alex's boyfriend. Would you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?"

Laf waved a hand. "Eliza's Alex's ex and Maria was the girl he had an affair with."

John blinked. "Why... Why did I not know this?" He asked Alex, who had stood up and begun pacing.

"It's not exactly something that comes up during a date," Alex said irritably. He looked at the two of them. "We need a plan. I don't want to die."

"Relax," Laf said. "You'll be fine."

John leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms.

"No!" Alex exclaimed. "They're both reporters! They could write whatever they wanted to about me, and everyone would believe them." He rubbed his eyes. "Why..."

"Angelica." Laf said simply.

There was a pause.

The doorbell rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dramatic music*
> 
> what will happen? you don't know!!  
> (i mean, neither do i, so we're equal.)


	4. awkward tension

Maria sauntered into the room, smiling. "Alex!"

Alex blinked, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" Maria gushed.

John stopped pouting immediately and stood up, offering his hand to Maria. "Hi, I'm John, Alex's  _boyfriend_."

Maria blinked, looking somber for a second, the grinned. "A boyfriend? I'm impressed! I kind of thought Alex would be single for the rest of his life." She whispered conspiratorially.

Alex breathed deeply. "Hello, Maria. It's nice to see you."

"Yes! Very nice to see you too!" She spun around on the toe of her high-heels ( _they were like, eighteen hundred inches,_ Alex thought incredulously.) so she was facing Laf. "And Lafayette! How nice to see you! How's Hercules?"

Laf nodded, floating a few feet above the floor. "Wonderful, thanks for asking."

Maria sat down delicately on the couch. "So, why did you invite me over?" She asked.

"You do know Eliza, right?" Laf asked

"M-hm. She's just darling." Maria nodded.

"Well, she's coming over, and I'm not sure how happy she'll be to see you."

Alex winced as there was a knock at the door.

John looked overwhelmed. 

Laf leaned over to John. "Um, so maybe let Alex have a chance to talk to Eliza without Maria in the room? Maybe go talk to Maria in the bedroom?" He suggested.

John nodded. "That sounds like a great idea. Me and Maria have a lot to talk about."

Laf nodded back. "Sounds great."


	5. ELIZA!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, there was not actual awkward silence in the last chapter- sorry about the misleading title.
> 
> :\

"Hi." Eliza held her coat awkwardly, standing in the doorway. "Where should I put my coat?"

Laf gestured to a series of hooks on the wall. "Just hang it up on the wall."

Eliza did so and sat down next to Alex on the couch. Laf continued hovering in the middle of the living room, above the coffee table.

Alex coughed.

Eliza looked around awkwardly.

Laf's grin became stale. He frowned. "So, when was the last time you two talked?"

Alex coughed again. "Um."

"You guys haven't talked since you broke up?"

There was a shriek from upstairs and someone- Maria- exclaimed, "No! He did not!"

"Oh, he did," John assured her.

Maria giggled. "He is so..."

There was a burst of laughter.

Eliza looked questioningly at Alex. Alex glared at Laf. Laf glanced at the ceiling.

Alex tilted his head. "Where did you send John, Laf?"

"I told him and Maria to go upstairs and talk about you."

"And you truly thought that was a good idea?"

"Your boyfriend's gay. It's not like anything's going to happen."

"That's not what I meant, Laf. Now both of them will have twice as many things to tease me about."

"I thought it was a good idea!" Laf protested.

Eliza was looking back and forth like she was watching a tennis game. "Who's John?"

"My boyfriend," Alex explained, not looking away from Laf.

"Mm." Eliza nodded. "And why is Maria here?"

Alex turned away from Laf and threw up his hands. "That's the thing! I don't know why  _either of you_ are here. Thomas decided it would be a great idea to make me and John talk with you guys."

"Uh, I think it was more of them talking to each other."

"I don't care." Alex ran his fingers through his hair. "I was hoping to just read today. But no, this happens."

There is sudden silence from upstairs, and Maria sighs. "Do you think I can go downstairs yet?"

A pause. "Probably," John responded.

Alex winced, and John and Maria come down the stairs.


	6. harbinger of awkward silences

John kissed Alex's cheek and perched on the arm of the couch. "Hi!" He said, waving brightly at Eliza. "And you are?"

Eliza nodded at him. "Eliza Schuyler. You're John?"

"M-hm."

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Ditto." John smiled.

There was a pause. Eliza sighed. "I'm just the harbinger of awkward silences today, aren't I."

"Oh, no." Maria rushed. "No, you're fine."

John grinned at Laf, who winked.

Alex took out his book and begun reading.

Another silence.

Laf began spinning slowly. Maria yawned. Eliza toyed with the sleeve of her dress.

John coughed. "Why don't we go out for cake? There's a really good bakery down the road..."

Eliza lit up. "That sounds wonderful! Right now?"

John nodded.

Alex shook his head. "I have to do something, I'm sorry. You guys can go, though."

Laf looked skeptical but nodded. "Of course. Whatever." 

John kissed Alex, then stood up and shrugged on his coat. "Come on, it's close enough that we can walk."

Eliza stood up, too, and offered Maria a hand, which she took.

Laf leaned over to Alex. "This might be easier than I thought." He whispered.

Alex nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is absolutely terrible, but... :/ it was nessecary.


	7. EVIL!!

Alex turned the page lazily, thinking about John. He had found himself doing that quite often, thinking about John and John's dad. Alex was fairly certain that John had been telling his father that he was living with a girlfriend, and if John wasn't ready for his dad to know, that was fine with Alex. But it was kind of worrying, because Alex couldn't help but think  _why_ John didn't want to tell hid dad, seeing as he seemed to be fine about telling others.

Alex closed his eyes and leaned back.

There was a loud rapping at the door, then it opened. Lee- the  _bastard-_ walked in like he owned the place. 

"Hello, Alexander." He said.

" _Lee,"_ Alex commented- or perhaps he seethed. 

"Nice to see you again." Lee sat down in the chair across from Alex.

"I wish I could say the same." 

"How's your family?" Lee asked.

"Don't have one."

"Oh." Lee pursed his lips. "Never mind, then. John?"

"Fine, no thanks to you."

"Always pleased to hear about a healthy relationship." Lee did not sound happy. He sounded worryingly vengeful. "And Aaron?"

"Opened his bakery, probably has a boyfriend and a girlfriend." Alex put down his book and folded his hands. "Why are you here?"

Lee widened his eyes. "Can't I come over to say hi?"

"It doesn't seem like something you'd do."

"You offend me."

"Your existence offends me." Alex spat. "Why are you here?"

"Blackmail."

Alex closed his eyes. "Blackmail."

"Yes."

"I've done nothing wrong," he countered, opening his eyes again.

"You know that and I know that, but does John?" Lee grinned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Lee said tactfully, "now he knows that you've had an affair. I'm sure he'd believe you had another."

"Okay." Alex nodded slowly. "And why do you want from me?"

"I want you to write an article revealing you and John's relationship," Lee explained.

"You want me to forcibly out him," Alex repeated.

"That's not how I'd put it, but yes."

"This has  _nothing_ to do with you. You don't benefit from it. Do you just want to ruin John's life? Is that it?" 

"The less fag couples, the better," Lee explained. "You have two weeks to decide, call me when you have." He said, and swept out the door, leaving a business card behind him.

Alex swallowed heavily and looked down at his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think ive made lee kind of a evil maria... oops.


	8. Nice TJeffs <3

When Thomas and Mads came through the door, Alex was curled up on the couch crying, his book forgotten on the floor.

The two men stood in the middle of the living room for a while, holding hands.

When Alex noticed them, he wiped his eyes and sat up. "So many people barging into my house." He choked. "You'd think it's public property."

Mads waved gingerly. "Hi."

"Hi." Alex looked at Thomas. "Why'd you guys come over?"

"We wanted to check in on you, see if you were okay." Thomas looked concerned. "You obviously aren't."

Alex sniffled. "I'm  _fine."_ He said forcefully.

"You are not fine." Mads sat down in one of Alex's chairs. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"We do not believe you." Thomas declared. He sat on the coffee table, cross-legged. "So, who's been to your house lately?"

"John-"

"He essentially lives with you, he doesn't count." Thomas paused. "And I can't see why  _he_ would leave you crying."

"I'm not  _finished."_ Alex pointed out. "Also Maria, Eliza, Lafayette, who broke my door," Alex pointed to the busted door, "And... Lee." He muttered.

"Who?" Mads asked.

"Lee," Alex said, louder.

Thomas looked murderous. " _Him._ "

"Yeah, him."

Mads rubbed his forehead. "What did he do?" He asked.

"Threatened to blackmail me," Alex said offhandedly.

Mads closed his eyes. "He  _blackmailed_ you."

Alex nodded soundlessly.

" _He fucking blackmailed you."_ Mads stood up. "Excuse me, Thomas, I'm going to be late for our date tonight. I have to go commit a homicide."

"Babe, no."

" _Yes."_ Mads grabbed his coat- he had to stand on the tips of his toes to reach the hook- and stormed out of the house.

"Well, that's nice of him," Alex commented.

Thomas held up a finger. "Wait for it..."

Seconds later Mads walked back in, sighing. "I need the car keys, darling."

"No. You're going to get yourself killed."

Mads breathed slowly and sat down by Thomas. "Fine. Let's continue hearing Alex's story, and see if we can press charges."

"Who'll press charges?" Thomas asked him.

Mads rolled his eyes. "I'm a  _lawyer,_ Thomas." He looked back at Alex. "So?"

"So what?"

" _Spill."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JEFFMADS IS AMAZING AND CUTE AND LIFE AND PET NAMES AND UGH.


	9. SPILL

Mads leaned forward. "So, what is he holding over you?"

"A-"

Thomas held up a hand. "Wait!"

"What?" Mads looked at him, exasperated. 

"Comfort food. This is probably a touch subject. We need baked goods." 

"Mm." Mads smiled at his boyfriend. "Why don't you go get some, then?"

Thomas nodded enthusiastically. "I'll be right back!"

When he left, Mads leaned back. "You can tell me what he said, you know. I'm not going to tell anyone."

Alex scoffed. "I don't think you would."

"So, what did he say?"

"He threatened to tell everyone that I cheated on John with Maria."

Mads suddenly looked very suspicious. "And did you?"

Alex's eyes widened. "Of course not! What do you take me for?"

Mads sighed. "And, if you didn't do it, why would John believe  _Lee_ that you did?"

"Three reasons." Alex counted them on his fingers. "One, Lee would do it under a pen name, he's not an idiot, two, No one ever believes me, and three, I've done it before."

"You have cheated on John before." Mads clarified.

" _No."_ Alex sighed. "I cheated on  _Eliza._ With Maria."

Mads nodded. "No wonder you didn't want to be in the same room as the two of them."

"Exactly."

"Okay, but why does it tie into anything?"

"Because, if logic serves, if I did it once with someone, I might do it again, with another person."

Mads nodded again. "Oh. Is he making you pay him?"

"No, he wants me to write a news article forcibly outing John, and to take credit for said article."

"Ah." Mads rubbed his forehead. "You are in deep shit, my friend."

"I know. Why do you think I was sobbing? Because I won the lottery?"

Mads just shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have now written 8 chapters in a day. :\
> 
> plot of story: bakery! matchmaking! blackmail! jeffmads!


	10. What'd I miss?

They sat in silence for a while, until Thomas came back, carrying a paper bag. "I brought sour cherry scones!"

"Mm."

Noticing the two mens grim faces, Thomas sighed. "You went through it without me, didn't you."

"We did," Alex confirmed.

"He is in trouble," Madison commented. 

Thomas sighed. "Well, I succeded in my goal, if it matters."

Alex leaned forward suddenly. "You guys can't tell any of the others I'm being blackmailed. They'll probably go attack Lee, and unlike Mads, they won't have anyone to hold them back. At least, no one that's with them 24/7." He paused. "I don't want them to get hurt."

Mads looked dubious. "You think too highly of yourself, Alexander," but shook Alex's hand and agreed. Thomas did the same, declaring, "We will never speak of this again."

Thomas checked his watch. "We're going to be late for our reservation." He inforemed Mads. "Thanks for inviting us over, Alex, we had a great time." He paused. "You can keep the scones, by the way."

Mads began wrapping his scarf around his neck. "Yes, thank you, Alex. And thank you for telling me." He added, quieter.

"It was nothing."

Mads grabbed Thomas's arm. "So, darling, where is our reservation?"

"This new restraunt, it serves mac and cheese and grilled cheese," Thomas responded as the walked out the door.

"You know I'm allergic to cheese, right?"

" _No."_ Alex heard Thomas adomish.

"You're right, I'm not."


	11. secrets...

The next morning, Alex woke up, yawning, to a panicking John. 

He was flopped over the bed, half-dressed and holding a phone in one hand. 

Alex poked him in the side. "You okay?"

John groaned. "No."

"Oh." Alex tilted his head. "Why are you not okay?"

"Hm?"

"Well, people usually don't lie on a bed, half-dressed and holding a phone in one hand for no reason, so..."

"Continue."

"And it probably has something to do with your phone, because you're holding it."

"Oh."

"Did your phone break?" Alex guessed.

John shook his head. "My dad called."

Alex blinked.  _"Oh._ Well, that sounds bad. I don't know your dad personally, but..." He trailed off.

"You know his politics." John volunteered.

"Yeah." Alex paused. "So, what was he calling about?"

John grimaced. "I've been telling him I'm living with a girlfriend, right?"

"Mm-hm."

"So he wants to meet said girlfriend.'

"Sounds problematic."

John glared at Alex, then lay back down on the bed. " _Yes."_

"You could ask Maria to be your fake girlfriend for a day?"

"How do you ask someone that?"

Alex stood up, stretching. "Well, first, you text them, say hi, then you say, 'Hey, would you ever consider being my girlfriend for a day to throw off my homophobic dad? I'm sure Alex won't mind.' Then you annoy her until she says yes, which, with Maria, shouldn't be too long."

John nodded. "On the subject of Maria."

Alex winced. "Yes?"

John blinked. "Do you know what I'm going to say."

"Probably."

"Okay, then, I feel no need to say it." John tilted his head. "But what's your response?"

"I would never,  _ever_ do that to you," Alex promised.

"Are you sure?"

Alex felt sick.  _He would believe Lee._ "Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay." John stood up, satisfied.


	12. Sing Praises To Maria!

John groaned. He was sitting on the edge of the counter at Laf coffee shop. "My dad's coming."

"Your dad... is coming where?" Herc asked.

"Me and Alex's house."

"It's a disaster." Alex piped. "We're asking Maria to pretend to be his girlfriend, but she hasn't responded." Alex checked his phone. "Yeah, no response."

Herc shook his head. "Sorry."

Laf walked down the stair slowly in a dark green bathrobe and his pajamas- a huge black shirt and a pair of dark green shorts. "Bonjour mes amis. Quel est le problème?"

"Rien. Et pourquoi parlez-vous en francais?" Alex sighed.

"Vous parlez français en ce moment, hypocrite." Laf kissed Herc's cheek. "Alors, que voulez-vous les gars?"

"I want coffee," Alex said. "John wants to complain about his terrible dad."

"Ah." Laf yawned. "Je veux du café aussi, Alex."

John blinked. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Herc leaned over. "He talks in french until he has coffee. He does this  _every morning._ I  _live with him._ I don't understand him until 9:30 every day."

John frowned sympathetically.

There's a jingle as Amy races into the coffee shop, breathing heavily. "I-" He pants, "I'll pay."

Laf blinked. "Quelle?"

The curly hair girl burst through the door next. "No, no I'll pay." She said, slamming her purse onto the counter.

"No! I got here first." Amy protested.

Aaron walked through the door a few seconds later and stared at Amy and the girl. "Well." he frowned, shoving his wallet back into his pocket. "Looks like I'm not paying."

The girl rummaged through her purse and took out a pie. "I'm Theo, and I will pay you in pumpkin pie."

"How does a pie fit in that purse?" Alex muttered.

"Je ne pense pas que c'est une forme juridique de la monnaie." Laf protested, but Herc elbowed him. 

"What are you offering, Amy?" He asked.

Amy frowned. "I will offer... he rummaged around in his pockets. "Three dollars and a French flag." He grinned half-heartedly. 

Herc stood back at stared at the two of them. "The right to pay is sold to... Theo. I'd like that pie, now."

Theo slid the pie onto the counter. "We'd like two iced teas and an espresso?" She asked, taking out a wallet.

"Bien sûr." Laf said, grabbing two cups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translated conversation bettween Alex + Laf:  
> Laf: Hello, my friends, and what is the problem?  
> Alex: Nothing, and why do you speak french?  
> Laf: You are speaking french, hypocrite. What do you guys want?  
> Alex: Coffee, blah blah blah (this part was in english)  
> Laf: Ah. I want coffee too, Alex.
> 
> later (the pumpkin pie thing)  
> Laf: I don't think that's a legal form of currency.
> 
> even later (theo ordering)  
> Laf: Sure thing!


	13. Maria has ARRIVED

Alex was at the dining room table, writing, when the doorbell rang and John panicked again. 

"It's my dad! And Maria still hasn't texted me back!"

Alex looked down at his phone and send Maria a text message. 

_Maria! We have an emergency here... John's dad has arrived and we need you. :\_

He looked up. "Okay, so we're saying that I'm Maria's brother. Okay?"

John took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay." He stood up and walked over to the door. (Herc had fixed it for them- his superpower was that he could knit anything). He swung open the door, smiling. "Hi, dad. It's nice to see you again."

"Yes, very nice to see you too, son." Henry Laurens looked around the room. "Where do I put my coat?"

"Maybe the place where all the other coats are?" Alex asked dryly.

Henry blinked. "Who is  _this?"_

John swallowed at glanced at Alex, who nodded. He wasn't happy about it, but it was necessary.

"He's Maria's brother- he's staying with us for a while."

Henry handed his coat to Alex, who handed it back to him. "You can hang your coat up with all the others, Mr. Laurens." He said stiffly.

Henry Laurens glared at Alex. "I hope you girlfriend isn't like her brother."

"O-oh." John glanced at Alex. "Yeah. I'll take your coat."

John hung his dad's coat up and sat down on the couch.

Henry sat in Alex's chair. Alex cleared his throat. "That's my chair."

"Hasn't anyone told you to respect your elders, boy?" Henry snapped.

John winced.

Henry ignored Alex's further protests and looked at his son. "So, where's this Maria?"

"She's shopping with her friend Eliza."

"Who's Eliza? That name sounds familiar."

"She's a reporter." Alex volunteered. He had sat down in another chair and had his arms crossed.

"Ah."

There was a loud rap- a kind of, 'I'm here, and I'm not waiting for you to let me in'- and Maria swooped into the room, in all of her glory. Henry looked impressed. 

"Are you Maria?"

"Yes." She said, sitting down next to John. "You must be Mister Laurens? John talks about you all the time." She winked at Alex, mouthing, ' _Sorry I'm late'._

Alex smiled slightly and leaned back in the chair.


	14. Thomas, this is a bad time

The doorbell rang again. Maria, John and Alex, already on edge with Henry Laurens, jumped. Alex composed himself first and went to open the door. 

"Oh, hello, Thomas, Mads." He pulled them outside. "This is a really fucking terrible time."

 _"I'm sorry, but this is important."_ Thomas hissed.

" _What is it?"_ Alex sighed, " _Here, let's just go somewhere else."_

Thomas grinned. "How about we go see how monsieur Burr is." 

 

Burr was fine, if bored. "I'll give you a free cookie if you can get her to laugh." He offered, jabbing a thumb at Theo, who was pouting. 

"Why're you upset?"

Theo grimaced. "Maria left in the middle of cooking, and now the kitchen smells like smoke."

"Why'd she leave?" Mads asked. 

"Said it was an emergency."

Alex looked sheepish. "That might have been my fault."

"Why?"

"John's dad was coming over, and we needed her to pretend to be his girlfriend."

Theo threw up her hands. "Well, that makes sense. Thanks."

"It was nothing."

 

"So, what's so important?"

"I figured how to get Eliza and Maria to go on a date?" Thomas said excitedly.

"Really."

Mads rolled his eyes. "It's a terrible idea."

"What did I tell you about insulting my plans, babe?"

"You have never mentioned it before," Mads said, deadpanned.

 

"But what's your  _plan?_ " Alex asked.

"Well, valentines day is coming up, right?"

"m-hm."

"Well, we get them to give each other valentines and go on a date! It's fool proof!"

"It's not a plan!" Mads complained. "It's barely an idea."

"Please stop insulting me."

"Nah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit is going to go down on valentines day. :\


	15. reporter! philip

Alex took a sip of his coffee. (it was like his seventh cup today, and Laf knew it, but it would seem weird not to drink anything when Philip was having something.) "So, how's your internship going?"

"Oh, great. Eliza's amazing. She's like like the older sister I never had, you know?"

Alex chuckled. "Yeah. Eliza's an angel."

"And superheroes are just fascinating to write about, all of the nuances and stuff..." Pip grinned. "So, what are you doing?"

"I'm working at the superhero institute, helping with stuff... you know, the usual."

"Oh yeah! Did I tell you about that one superhero? He looks exactly like-"

Alex coughed. "Yes. That's really weird, Pip." He racked his brain for something else to talk about. "Uhm... do you have a special other?"

Philip rolled his eyes. "Nope. I just have a group of friend who all seem to think they're dating me." He paused. "It's kind of weird, actually."

"Mm. Sounds weird." Alex took a sip of his coffee. 

"Where are you living now?" Philip asked. "Last time I saw you, you were living with the Washingtons?"

"Yeah. I got my own house- inherited money from my dad when he died." Alex said offhandedly.

Laf winced.

Pip looked flustered. "Oh."

Alex sighed. "I'm over it."

Pip checked his watch. "Well, I've got to go, George and Dosia are meeting me at the theater to watch something." He smiled ta Alex. "Nice seeing you. And, you know, if you have something you want published..." He handed Alex a card. "You can call me."

Alex looked sadly at the card. "I might be taking you up on the offer."


	16. *i seeth as i write the chapter*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate title: SHIT, ALEX, WHY?????!?!?

John kissed Alex's cheek. "Bye, luv!"

"See you later." Alex smiled at him. 

John winked. "Don't forget to buy me flowers!"

Alex glanced at the calendar. "Valentines day is  _tomorrow?"_

"Flowers," John repeated, and spun out the door.

 

Once his car left, Lee walked up. "Your time is up." He said, by way of greeting.

"Hi, Lee." Alex sighed.

"Your time is up. What are you doing?"

Alex swallowed. "I- I'll write the essay."

Lee smiled. "I had hoped you would say that." He turned around and left.

 

Alex wrote the essay, knowing full well it was the worst decision of his life. He also knew that the other decision would be worse, so he kept writing.

 

"Hi, Pip."

"Oh, hi Alex."

"I have something I was wondering if you could get published tomorrow morning?" Alex winced.

"Oh, sure!"

"Bye, Pip."

 

To: John Luv

From: Alexander the Idiot.

 _Sorry._  

 

 


	17. (un)Happy Valentines Day!

_Sorry._

_Why in the fucking world do you think this is a good idea?_

_I'm sorry._

_Alex, my dad disowned me. I am homeless, broke, and legally an orphan. This is your fucking fault._

_sorry._

_Goodbye, Alexander._

 

"You did it, didn't you," Mads observed when he walked into Alex crying for the second time.

Thomas held up a newspaper. The headline read 'Senator's son in a relationship'? "You think?"

"Go away," Alex grumbled.

Mads sat down on the coffee table. "Everyone is mad at you but us. If you want any friends, you should be nice to us."

"Go  _away. I don't want to talk._ "

"We're bringing you comfort food." Thomas smiled tightly. "Also Disney movies."

"What Disney movies?" Alex asked the couch pillow.

"Mulan, The Princess and the Frog, The Road to El Dorado."

"Those aren't all Disney movies," Alex told the pillow. He wiped his eyes and looked at his phone. "You know what, I'll meet you at your house- I have to do something."

Thomas nodded slowly. "Okay.


	18. I'm Fucking Sorry

_You can use the house._ Alex swallowed.

_..._

_I won't be there. I'm staying at Mads house._

_Okay._

 

Alex rummaged through his closet.  _Are those his shoes?_ He needed clothing to bring if he was going to stay anywhere else, and his clothing happened to be in the closet.  _I'm pretty sure this is my shirt._ Sadly, the closet was shared with John- therefore it had a lot of Johns clothing.  _Three pair of pants, a shirt, another shirt- aw, it's John's turtle shirt- a empty chip bay- oops- four pairs of socks... a box- hey, that rhymes- wait, why is there a ring box in here?_

 

Alex suddenly felt very, very sick.

He grabbed his stuff and ran out of the house.


	19. poor john :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so you know how i said that i always end a story with fluff? well, i'm kind of not doing that. sorry.

Laf hugged John. "I'm sorry. Do you want some hot cocoa?"

John blinked. He blinked again. "No..." He sniffled. "Nope. I'm fine. I'm going to... go home."

"I thought your dad kicked you out?" Laf looked dubious.

"Alex is letting me stay."

"I didn't think you'd want to see him."

"He's staying with Thomas and Mads." John sniffled again.

Laf smiled slightly, but he still looked sad. "He's doing that just for you, you know."

John looked up at Laf. "I know."

John's turtle climbed up onto his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." It whispered.

"Don't." John patted it's shell. "I'm fine."

The turtle was dubious.

 

John took out his phone. There was a new text from Alex. 

 _I'm sorry._ (that's also what his last... hm... 12 or so texts had been)

_Really._

_yes, i swear. it was... complicated._

_..._

_..._

_i found a ring box in the closet._

_oh._

_who was it for?_

_who do you think?_

_..._

_it's for you, idiot._

_or, it was going to be._

_i'm sorry._

_i know._

 

John curled up on his side of the bed. It was too cold, but it wasn't cold. It was too lonely. It was too dark, but it wasn't that dark. It was too clean, too empty, too Alex-y.

It wasn't Alex enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, that's it! i'll make the next part soon- not right away, but soon. (no longer than a month, i swear.)
> 
> in the meantime, you can give me fluff prompts at my tumblr, @the-stars-say-gay. :)


End file.
